Whew! I haven't posted in forever. I've been keeping many of you up to date via e-mail because Rob was being a bit of a pain regarding the blog. Here is a summary:
1. he finally finished testing and made me sign a non-disclosure agreement so I can't discuss details. But I can tell you the court awarded him his overnights/extended visits. Not necessarily bad as my hope is that will allow us to move to Ohio.
2. Still pursuing Ohio. Rob is dragging everything out just as slowly as he possibly can. Won't commit. I'm concerned about the timeing and the possibility of going to trial ($$$) and/or being told I have to stay. I am getting to the place, however, that I trust God with even that outocme.
3. God is helping me to let go, forgive despite him not actually asking me to. Or apologizing. But I want freedom more than I want to make him suffer. I want to forgive more than I want to hate and be bitter. And I feel God is starting to heal some things... beauty for ashes.
Keep praying. More to come. Hope to get some answers and deadlines met by next week. Specifically, pray that if Ohio is where God wants me and the boys, He will move this mountain. And if not, He will close this door.
Thanks, all! I love you!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Quick update
Gotta be vague just in case. Sad, isn't it? Anyway...those of you in my prayer group have more details...those of you wishing more should contact me via my e-mail address and we can correspond that way. I know he can't read those.
Update: today was NOT the court date as Rob's lawyer was suddenly booked up and we apparently are all STILL waiting on the psychologist report. I am officially unemployed in 30 days, though God has moved in an amazing way regarding possible future employment - just can't share that here. Like I said...if you want details, shoot me an e-mail. I'm not afraid to share them or trying to be coy...just want to limit his knowledge as much as possible.
I had to sit through that "co-parenting" class and listen to all of these secular people go on and on about how Rob and I finding common ground on the kids is the most important thing. No consideration of differences of faith and values, of psychological well being (or UNwell being in his case), no consideration of his difficulty to work with, the depths to which his behavior and attitude have sunken, his inablility to be believed or trusted, etc. I wanted to puke.
Please continue to pray. I want to be done hating him. I keep clinging to "Christ in me...the HOPE of GLORY"...because right now I don't feel like I'm glorifying Him in any way, shape or form. I'm a wretch. My heart is deceitful. My soul is selfish. I question every motive and thought...but I'm afraid to question too much becuase of what I might find the answer to be - and I want it MY way.
What a mess fallen humanity is. Who will save me from this body of death?
Update: today was NOT the court date as Rob's lawyer was suddenly booked up and we apparently are all STILL waiting on the psychologist report. I am officially unemployed in 30 days, though God has moved in an amazing way regarding possible future employment - just can't share that here. Like I said...if you want details, shoot me an e-mail. I'm not afraid to share them or trying to be coy...just want to limit his knowledge as much as possible.
I had to sit through that "co-parenting" class and listen to all of these secular people go on and on about how Rob and I finding common ground on the kids is the most important thing. No consideration of differences of faith and values, of psychological well being (or UNwell being in his case), no consideration of his difficulty to work with, the depths to which his behavior and attitude have sunken, his inablility to be believed or trusted, etc. I wanted to puke.
Please continue to pray. I want to be done hating him. I keep clinging to "Christ in me...the HOPE of GLORY"...because right now I don't feel like I'm glorifying Him in any way, shape or form. I'm a wretch. My heart is deceitful. My soul is selfish. I question every motive and thought...but I'm afraid to question too much becuase of what I might find the answer to be - and I want it MY way.
What a mess fallen humanity is. Who will save me from this body of death?
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