Desensitization

I just said goodbye to my boys for the weekend with their dad. Breathing deeply, praying fervently. These words in the refrain of a Sarah Groves song come to mind....

"I only have two eyes, but You're all seeing.
I only have two hands, but You are everywhere.
I do not know enough, but You're all-knowing.
I give my baby up into Your care."

I want to guard them from evil, wickedness, yes. But I also want to guard them from mediocrity, apathy. I want to protect their innocence - not slowly inoculate them to sinful life by a little exposure here and there until it's no big deal - and they are numb. In one of our court sessions, I pointed out some pictures that Rob had exposed Ethan to that were inappropriate (mostly bikini, but some thumbnails of erotic sci-fi art/book covers). But the spirit of mediocrity and desensitizing took over and I was told "Oh, your kids will see worse than this." Not on my watch. Not if I can help it. I really don't care what the world deems as "acceptable" - I am not a citizen of this world. And neither are my children. And I do not apologize for trying to live to a higher standard. My King beckons me to it. And Christian or not, those pictures send a message to young boys...'women are primarily for your pleasure' and 'sex is just another thing to do - no big deal.'

Desensitization happens to us all, I know. But if I can help them retain or gain a bit more sensitivity to the things of God than I have, or for a little bit longer, then maybe they will be someone who makes a huge difference in this world. Maybe they can grow up to be men of God who do not accept the status quo - but rise above it. I want them to grow up not feeling this need to "tolerate" sin - but to have compassion AND boldness to call it out - not with a self righteous spirit, but one who is willing to reach into the pit and rescue people who are in it.

Hmmm...I want that for myself, too.

Oh, Jesus - teach us to have your Agape love for all humanity and for you. The radical love that would call a person out for their sin, but then embrace them and show them a better way. That would allow a man to take on the fault and punishment of people who are abusing him, and still be able to say "forgive them - they don't understand." That would socialize with a prostitute despite what might happen to his reputation so that he can help her see WHY she is trying to fill a void incorrectly...and then showing her the love she is REALLY searching for.

Less of me and more of You, Jesus. Circumcise my heart.

Spontaneity

One thing I'm really beginning to enjoy about being single again - my time is MINE. Well, with the exception of taking care of the boys, of course...but they are pretty easy to be spontaneous with. So if, say, my in-laws call me up and say, we'd love to see you before school starts. Are you free anytime?" - I can look at my calendar and say "why yes, how about this weekend?"...and do it all on a Wednesday. So off we went on an impromptu adventure to the beloved mountains of eastern TN. How I've missed them. And quite frankly, I don't care how commercial the area is - there is nothing quite like the Smokey Mountain National Park area.

We stayed in a cabin in Pigeon Forge. It was more like a house, really. The view was breath-taking. And we had great, clear weather so you could see rows and rows of peaks. Mommies favorite part: the HOT TUB. Out on the deck, under the stars....ahhhhhhh. It was also fun watching Ethan and Noah try to play pool -BEFORE killing each other with the cues.

Visited Gatlinburg. I haven't been there in over 13 years and it really hasn't changed much. Felt right at home. Went up in the Space Needle...

(a REALLY cute guy took this pic for us - :))

(and this is what a bird sees just before pooping on Joyce's head - she's the lone figure on the bench in the center of the photo. She wanted NOTHING to do with going up in that tower! )

Then, after walking around a bit, we rode the chair lift up the side of the mountain. The boys already had practiced with the Ferris Wheel at the fair, so they were pros.



I believe I could have spent $50 in change on those binoculars and it still would not have been enough. They LOVED them!!!

(We weren't exactly sure what Noah was doing here - just kept hiking up the shorts. Maybe this is the boy equivalent to the little girl flashing her skirt/dress up over her head to anyone and everyone? At least he's enjoying himself... :)

It was a wonderful visit with family. Yes, no divorce document can change that. I am and will always be, on some level, the daughter of Joyce and Gerald Funderburk. And I know I will be welcomed and embraced as such. I love them dearly. And they've been a tremendous support throughout. I'm glad to be closer to them so that visits can be more often and...spontaneous!

I had forgotten just how fun it is to have zero plans and just go. I had somehow lost that side of me. Guess it's easy to get buried beneath the natural planning structure mommi-hood and homemaking. Know what else? I think I was sitting around waiting for Rob to actually LEAD and just got used to.....waiting. Instead of doing. With this one little trip I learned:

1. I don't have to wait for someone else to make plans. I can make AND execute them. Even at the last minute. Without permission and without having to check someone else's availability. If I'm available, then let's DO IT! (And if you can't, no offense, but I may just find someone else who can this time and try again with you next time. I just don't want to wait anymore.)

2. I am capable. And I don't really need help. It's nice, but more for the sharing aspect than the need. I'm not turning into a feminist, but rather learning that Lori is just fine as she is - she doesn't HAVE to be half of something. She is whole all by herself. With Jesus.

3. Driving on a long road trip is FUN. There is joy in the journey...not just the destination.

4. Kids are a lot more flexible than I give them credit for.

5. While kids thrive with routines and structure, they are positively giddy about a last minute idea/adventure - no matter how simple it is. Even if we forget to pack something important like a soft blankie or soap. :)

6. you don't have to have a lot of money or time to make great memories. Or even grandios plans. Just do something.

7. I DO love life. My life. And the people who are a part of it with me. And I'm enjoying discovering "Lori" again. And guess what?...she's kinda cool. I like her.

8. I don't have to have someone to share an experience with. It's perfectly OK to indulge myself by myself (ie - that Hot Tub! :))

9. It's more important to live for Christ than it is to live for a husband -and more fulfilling.

10. I will be OK. Not just OK, but GREAT. And so will my kids. We will not just survive - we will thrive!

11. Family doesn't have to be blood.

12. I'm actually looking forward to being back in the classroom. It was my calling, my mission field. I stepped away for a greater mission - my own kids. But I'm OK with this. Perhaps I will be a better mom as I am reaching out to more kids than my own. And learning to trust my Maker with my own.

13. I'm pretty darn good with directions.

Yet another milestone!

Ethan lost his first tooth. Pulled it out himself! Of course, corn on the cob helped a bit. I told him if he kept his tongue out of the hole the tooth would come in gold. He didn't make it 5 seconds. But then, none of us ever do, do we? :)

Oh, and the only thing better than new car smell...new classroom smell. Ok, maybe only for a teacher. I have to enjoy it before it's tainted with the smell of 'teen spirit' :)

And gumless desks, scuffless floors, graffitiless table tops, trashless sinks, profanityless textbooks, etc...

Lori's new classroom

THE TOYS...YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE TOYS!!!!!!! I get the feeling that I will not have to worry about buying my own supplies with this district. Oh how decadent I feel...




Every 2 classes share a common lab prep and storage room. Somebody was THINKING!!!

I have more cabinet space than I know what to do with! It's awesome. Plus...check out the projector. Apparently its a new technology my district is piloting. It turns an ordinary white board into a SmartBoard, AND has a 3-D camera that can project any object I place under it - kind of like an overhead. All of this will be run from my laptop station. No more scrambling for Vis-a-vis markers, no more cleaning transparencies and using a bazillion paper towels to dry them, no more rainbow fingers at the end of the day!!!

Can you tell I'm excited?!?!?!?! I'm not a complete traitor...Though I am not an "Indian" but a "Thunderhawk"...it's all part of Native American history, right?

I also think I'm going to bag the supplemental for Theater Technical Director and had a lot of fun at the training for the sound and light board...state of the art, of course.

Well, if I had to go back to work, this is certainly the way to do it. I feel like a gamer who just got hired at Wizard of the West Coast!

Butler County Fair - July '08

It may not be the Great MN Get-Together, but it had everything a great fair needed for a cheaper price. Both my boys were into the rides, had cousins to join them AND it was cheaper to buy an unlimited wristband...so mommy went crazy trying to run around and keep up.

Yep, the pigs were just as stinky, the food was just as greasy, and the cowboys were just as hot. Er, I mean the weather... (blush)
One "pro" - not as much free crap to pick up and carry home only to throw away the next day.

Noah was completely fearless - didn't even occur to him that he might be scared. Especially on the Tower one - everyone around was laughing at his screams of glee and belly laugh! And Ethan...well, as long as Lexi was by his side...he can do ANYTHING. Those are two peas in a pod right there. :)

That whole

"stretch out your mouth for the camera" pose must be genetic...

Our last days in MN...

Our last couple of weeks in MN were a whirlwind, but I simply had to take the time for one more memorable outing to the Science Museum to see the Star Wars exhibit. We had a blast! Ethan and Noah has just begun to get into these beloved movies of my childhood (and adulthood - I just never seemed to outgrow them. Still would marry Han Solo in a heartbeat and want to be a Jedi :))

The first characters we meet our C3PO and R2D2. Noah exclaims with glee "its ow-2-d-2, mommy! I love him! I want to give him a hug! ". And he did. The remote control operator was having a lot of fun. Noah proceeded to have an entire conversation with the little guy.

Luckily, he didn't shoot at us or try to drag us off to his camp.
Ethan has really taken to the Fett's. He is very intrigued by that whole storyline. Odd, being that Boba and Jango are minor characters. I think he likes their jet packs.Luke's hovercraft minus the green/blue screen blank out of the tires.

Mommy couldn't let the boys have all the fun. Noah was a bit nervous around Darth, but Ethan was like "SAHWEEEET!!!"

The boys both love the line about 3PO being "naked". They giggle and giggle.

I had to note which blasters and lightsabers they wanted for Christmas. Nearly all of them.

Some of Ethan's favorites - the various Imperial war machines - especially the walkers.
One last "good bye" to Iggy. He's been a part of our family for years

Good bye to our little house in MN.