Blending families is not an easy task. One must really be sold out on the belief that this is best, despite the resistance from others. There are bumps and detours. If our eyes were not on Christ and the future, it would be easy to get discouraged when any of the children put up their sandbags, dig their trench and say 'today is a good day to die'.
I do not think our situation has been rough in comparison to other stories I've heard, but be sure - it's not easy on the kids. Even though they know the other parent is gone and the situation cannot go back, they will always wish in the depths of their heart that it could. Even though my kids like Steve, he's not Rob. Even though Joe and Ben like me, I'm not their mom. And that's apart from the fact that now there are two more kids demanding attention or intruding on space and resources. Two more that none of them asked for.
I didn't know what to do except pray. One thing I did get out of my divorce experience was a deeper trust and reliance on Christ. I'm not about to let that go just because I'm remarried. When I hit an obstacle, I hit my knees much quicker now a days. Gone is that old self reliance that had me bound in my youth. My age and experience has given me the wisdom to know that I am unable without Him. That I am hopelessly needy and inept. So pray I did. And not with the King James piety that makes us sound more "spiritual". I prayed a simple, earnest prayer: 'Jesus, please turn our hearts towards you and each other. Give us a love for one another that can only come from you."
And He is. :) I've seen such growth in all the boys in the past 2 weeks. I'm sure we will see set backs from time to time, but I know who is Sovereign. I know He is creating something beautiful and I'm honored to be a part of it.
Beauty for Ashes. This seems to be a theme in my life. I don't like the ashes, but the beauty that comes from it can only be of Him. It's unmistakable, and oh, so glorious.
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