So lately I've been experiencing a lot of anger just under the surface ready to blow at any moment. I've been wrestling with myself, trying to figure out the root. I thought I had that thing licked...and there is the problem. I thought I had that thing licked.
Why, oh, why must we learn and re-learn the same lessons again and again? Why do we fall back into old habits, in my case, the habit of self-reliance. And I don't mean the good kind. I'm talking about the kind that puts us in bondage as we try to work our way to righteousness. The kind that smacks Christ in the face by saying "your sacrifice isn't good enough...I have to EARN my salvation". The kind that says "I can fix myself if I just try harder". Then as you fail miserably, you find yourself falling into the condemnation trap leading to self-absorption through pity parties and a "martyr" mentality. Why do we do the devil's work for him? We willingly put the chains on our own hands and feet. Ugh.
So once again I have to re-commit to cooperate with God in this process of making me into the image of Christ. Once again, I have to surrender my ideas and my will to His. Once again I am reminded that I cannot fix me or anyone/anything else.
Praise be to God for His infinite grace and His mercies that are renewed daily!
1 comment:
Hey, I know where you're coming from on this topic. The past two and a half years that I've been working at the distribution center where I am, it's like the Lord has taken this place and turned it into a school house (spiritually speaking). I've experienced every type of emotion that comes in a stressful, production based environment: anger, frustration, dealing with other people; Oh don't get me wrong, the Lord has opened doors, promoted me from where I started, but with promotion comes more responsibility and more frustration! And yes, I seem to go through some of the same lessions over and over again, but each time it seems I gain a new perspective on God's love and grace! He's been blessing in my life and even in our church as our youth has been growing in number and closer to the Lord. I've began teaching a College/Career Sunday School class a couple of weeks ago and just last Friday we had an awesome Youth revival service which our youth praise did all the music and I preached. Things have really been going great and it's great to hear of God's blessings with all of you too!! We keep you all in prayer and can't wait till the holidays or later to get to see yall again. Well take care!
-Philip F.
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