new job

I started working this week for the St. Paul school district. I'm enjoying being back in the classroom, but it is very tiring and I miss my kids.

Starting to see some concessions from Rob. He's willing to give me sole religious upbringing responsibility. Still wants to be in on the decisions for education...I'm working on that. Please pray that he'll let that go. Still pray about Ohio, too. I want to move closer to family.

He's experiencing a lot of humilation when it comes to work - he just can't seem to get hired anywhere. And yet he still refuses to acknowledge the spiritual side of it..."God opposes the proud". It makes it harder on me in some ways - I cannot rely on Rob for anything financially and as long as he's not working, he gets the boys on Wednesday's all day. But, it might make it easier for me to go to Ohio if there is nothing holding either of us here and a judge sees he cannot support us if we stay.

While I am finally feeling like I'm getting past the extreme emotional pendulum I've been on, there are times it still seems like a bad dream. But now, not so much a bad dream for me...I simply cannot believe he would choose to do to himself what he is doing. I had more faith in him than that. I knew him as wiser. The people he's cavorting with...what are they searching for? The very things he had. Meaning. Purpose. Love. Family. Friendship. Validation. God. He's thrown away more in 8 months than most people get in their life times. For what? A thrill. A momentary, meaningless, high. That's it.

Ethan started riding the school bus to school last week. He was a bit apprehensive at first, but absolutely loved it! Unfortunately, my camera wouldn't work on that first moment, so I didn't get it recorded. Sigh. I had conferences with his teacher this last week, too. He's doing GREAT in school and the teacher says he's ready to read! He's even doing inventive spelling - where he tries to spell out the word with at least the beginning, middle, and end sounds. He's made such amazing progress this year - and matured a lot. Still need to work on strengthening his hand muscles to improve his writing ability, but that will come.

Noah is getting funnier every day. He is becoming a mimic. And he loves to dance and sing - even make up songs! Now if I could just get him to go on that potty!