A Thousand Roads to Hell by SingleDadLaughing

http://www.danoah.com/2011/02/thousand-roads-through-hell.html

I was pointed to this blog by a friend on facebook. I think it will speak to you. It did to me...

Lori

Holidays

As usual, the Holiday season seems to be more of a hectic rush than a peaceful rest. We are surviving, but it certainly is challenging. Funny...I thought it was hard being a single mother. It's harder, in some ways, to be a blended family of 6. The difference, however, is that there are many more experiences and more people to share them with. We've made some wonderful memories together so far in our first family Christmas.

Steve turned a year older and we got a snow day to celebrate it with him all day! Playing outside, getting caught up on homework, and having a family movie night (Mr. Bean's holiday) made it a pretty special day overall.

I had to crunch about 3 weeks worth of curriculum into a week. It's the most horrible way to teach, but I really had no choice. We were already a week behind because of OGT testing and then we were hit with 2 snow days...I was left to "teach to the test" and, unfortunately had to cut out labs in order to cover material (lecture...ugh). It's not fair to the kids, but we have so pigeonholed our education system that we are mass producing cookie cutter citizenry. There is no wiggle room for creativity. Oh sure, they tell us how we need to differentiate, slow down and reteach if necessary - but when? They still use final exams to assess our student's learning. Old, proven ineffective ways of assessment lead us to hang on to old, proven ineffective ways of instruction. It's a catch 22. How I'd love to teach in a truly innovative school.

We had a nice Christmas with many family celebrations. I think everyone got at least one thing they wanted. The kids got along pretty good during break. We had a little party for the new year...it was Ethan and Noah's first year to stay up. I got us some hats, noismaker, champagne poppers - it was fun! I also introduced them to the tradition of praying the old year out and the new year in. Can't get them on board for black-eyed peas and sauerkraut, though! LOL!

Season of Thanks

As I enter into November, I start to look back and look around at all I have to be thankful for. I've always been a grateful person...I know that neither God nor life owes me anything, but I feel so much more thankful and grateful this year than I have in a while. I have a job - and a good job at that. I have a home. A nice one. I have good and decent kids and step kids. I have a wonderful husband whom I love more deeply everyday and in whom I am learning that I really can trust. I have good friends all over the world with whom I stay in contact. I have the most supportive and fabulous family I could ever hope for (even though a great many of them are looney toons... hahahah... I'm sure that makes sense if you know me - it's all the same stock, you know!) I have a good church that preaches the Word of God and extends grace and love and has a fabulous kids ministry. My finances are starting to get back on their feet from the divorce. My heart has healed. All of these things are not to be mistaken as my own working - I could not have accomplished any of these things without the strength and guidance of Christ in me. It reminds me of the promises made to the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6:

" 4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.

10 When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. "

There have been many times I have failed God, and many times I have outright disobeyed. But all in all, I knew His ways are perfect and I ran back to my Father's arms quickly. When I did not have the strength to do right on my own, I wrote His commandments on my heart, I impressed them to my children, I talked about them while sitting at home, while out and about, and I wrote them all over my house - doors, mirrors, walls, everywhere. Because I choose life and God's desires over my own, he has now blessed me with a life I did not build, a house filled with goods I did not provide, wells and vineyards that I have not dug nor planted. And I will be careful to not forget the Lord who has brought me out of the dark slavery of bitterness and hate. I will love Him with all my heart, soul, and strength.

I am thankful for a great many temporary things. But I am learning to be even more thankful for the eternal. I am more thankful for my God and my relationship with Him this year than ever before. I never cease to be amazed by Jehovah. What an awesome, mighty God I serve and what a privilege to be called His child.

Sweetest Day

If ever there was a blatant attempt from the card and flower industry to promote their products, this is it. Isn't Valentine's Day enough?

That said, I have the sweetest Sweetest there is - no cards were exchanged or flowers, just kisses and compliments. And I couldn't be happier. I am a blessed woman.

I love you, Steve!

Priorities

Boy, I have to tell you I am in a place in my life that it is really hard to balance. I never planned on being a working mom with little kids...at least not working full time and having to develop all new curriculum. Ugh. This really stinks. I feel like a first year teacher having to put so much time into work. Its hard to find time for anything else. I don't like this.

It brings up a lot of my questions to God about the path I was on 3 years ago. I had put my career on hold and had embraced my domestic role as wife and mother. It was hard to walk away from a very successful career up to that point. I love teaching. I had finally come to a place that I was OK with setting it aside and WHAM - my husband leaves. So I am thrown, quite unexpectedly back into the work force as a single mother. I have struggled with that since day one - without the help of my family, I would not have made it. Now, I have a new husband, new home, new step sons and I'm still struggling.

After 16 years in education, I should not feel like this. I should have been able to find a groove, a balance. A way to keep work at work, be wife and mom at home and still have some time for just me and Jesus. As it is, I work, I come home and do homework, I try to fly in and help with a bit of housework but the majority of that is falling on Steve (bless him), and then I do more work and if I'm lucky...I'll get 6 hours of sleep.

I'm not sure how long one can feel as though they are treading water, but I'm sure I'm reaching the end of the limit. I just look at the overwhelming task before me and my brain completely freezes up...I honestly don't know how to change this. I have no more hours to give, and no less work to do. I'm quite frazzled in my spirit, body, and mind right now.

I would love to find someway to teach from home. Or perhaps some way to get ahead enough and start letting the kids do more grading. However, with the expectation of cramming more curriculum in less time, I just can't seem to find a place to take 20 minutes of class time to grade something. How I wish we would take a cue from the business world and give teachers the time they need to get better, plan together, research, and implement the best practices that are out there. I wish I didn't have to take time and money away from my family to get training, purchase resources for my class, to find better lessons and ways of doing things.

I know no one ever died and said "I wish I had spent more time at work"...but I honestly don't know how to not spend as much time. I'm not trying to climb a ladder...I'm just trying to keep from drowning. I fear less time would = being overtaken. I need help...

God of our Hearts

Blending families is not an easy task. One must really be sold out on the belief that this is best, despite the resistance from others. There are bumps and detours. If our eyes were not on Christ and the future, it would be easy to get discouraged when any of the children put up their sandbags, dig their trench and say 'today is a good day to die'.

I do not think our situation has been rough in comparison to other stories I've heard, but be sure - it's not easy on the kids. Even though they know the other parent is gone and the situation cannot go back, they will always wish in the depths of their heart that it could. Even though my kids like Steve, he's not Rob. Even though Joe and Ben like me, I'm not their mom. And that's apart from the fact that now there are two more kids demanding attention or intruding on space and resources. Two more that none of them asked for.

I didn't know what to do except pray. One thing I did get out of my divorce experience was a deeper trust and reliance on Christ. I'm not about to let that go just because I'm remarried. When I hit an obstacle, I hit my knees much quicker now a days. Gone is that old self reliance that had me bound in my youth. My age and experience has given me the wisdom to know that I am unable without Him. That I am hopelessly needy and inept. So pray I did. And not with the King James piety that makes us sound more "spiritual". I prayed a simple, earnest prayer: 'Jesus, please turn our hearts towards you and each other. Give us a love for one another that can only come from you."

And He is. :) I've seen such growth in all the boys in the past 2 weeks. I'm sure we will see set backs from time to time, but I know who is Sovereign. I know He is creating something beautiful and I'm honored to be a part of it.

Beauty for Ashes. This seems to be a theme in my life. I don't like the ashes, but the beauty that comes from it can only be of Him. It's unmistakable, and oh, so glorious.

Max Lucado Devotion

Team Up
by Max Lucado

In 1976 tremors devastated the highland of Guatemala. Thousands of people were killed, and tens of thousands were left homeless. A philanthropist offered to sponsor a relief team from our college. This flyer was posted in our dormitory: "Needed: students willing to use their spring break to build cinder block homes in Quetzaltenango." I applied, was accepted, and began attending the orientation sessions.

There were twelve of us in all. Mostly ministry students. All of us, it seemed, loved to discuss theology. We were young enough in our faith to believe we knew all the answers. This made for lively discussions. We bantered about a covey of controversies. I can't remember the list. It likely included the usual suspects of charismatic gifts, end times, worship styles, and church strategy. By the time we reached Guatemala, we'd covered the controversies and revealed our true colors. I'd discerned the faithful from the infidels, the healthy from the heretics. I knew who was in and who was out.

But all of that was soon forgotten. The destruction from the earthquake dwarfed our differences. Entire villages had been leveled. Children were wandering through the rubble. Long lines of wounded people awaited medical attention. Our opinions seemed suddenly petty. The disaster demanded teamwork. The challenge created a team.

The task turned rivals into partners. I remember one fellow in particular. He and I had distinctly different opinions regarding the styles of worship music. I—the open minded, relevant thinker—favored contemporary, upbeat music. He—the stodgy, close-minded caveman—preferred hymns and hymnals. Yet when stacking bricks for houses, guess who worked shoulder to shoulder? As we did, we began to sing together. We sang old songs and new, slow and fast. Only later did the irony of it dawn on me. Our common concern gave us a common song.

What if the missing ingredient for changing the world is teamwork? "When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there" (Matt. 18:19-20 MSG).

This is an astounding promise. When believers agree, Jesus takes notice, shows up, and hears our prayers.

And when believers disagree? Can we return to my Guatemalan memory for a moment?

Suppose our group had clustered according to opinions. Divided according to doctrines. If we had made unanimity a prerequisite for partnership, can you imagine the consequences? We wouldn't have accomplished anything. When worker divide, it is the suffering who suffer most.

They've suffered enough, don't you think? The Jerusalem church found a way to work together. They found common ground in the death, burial, resurrection of Christ. Because they did, lives were changed.

And as you and I do, the same will happen.

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV)

O Lord, whenever I address you as "ourFather," cause me to remember that I have been called to be part of a holy community. You did not call me to remain in isolation but placed me in the body of Christ, along with every other believer in Jesus throughout the world in every age. Please give me the grace to act on the truth that you created us to grow as a team, to work as a team, to worship as a team, and to weep and laugh and live as a team. Grant me the wisdom and the strength to partner with you and with my brothers and sisters in Christ to meet the needs you place before us. For Jesus' sake and in his name I pray, amen.

From Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make a Difference
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2010) Max Lucado

The Wegman boys

Ethan or uncle Philip??????

The Sand Ceremony

The blended sand

New brothers

Noah - looks like he's up to sumthin'...

blending the families...

The Kiss

Dancing

Handsome boys...