Festival of Lights

I got to treat my boys to a childhood tradition of mine - going to the Cincy Zoo for the Festival of Lights! It was bigger than I remember it, which is odd - usually things you revisit as an adult seem smaller than you remember them as a child. The boys had a blast with all their cousins, aunts, and uncles and of course mamaw and papaw. We enjoyed seeing the animals, the beautiful light displays, pop corn and hot chocolate. And mommy enjoyed not freezing her tuckus off like I would be if I were in MN! :)

It's especially nice feeling a part of something bigger - not just me and the boys. And having help in keeping up with them and getting them ready to go places, etc. And even having someone to help in the middle of the night with the terrors, coughing, fevers and so on. I love these boys and would do anything and sacrifice everything for them, but being a single parent is hard work and having help makes a big difference to them and me. Having other people besides mommy to see the cool stuff, hear the secrets, laugh at the jokes, watch your trick, attend to your needs - that's important.

They also love having so many men around to affirm and validate them. Yes, they have that in many friends and brothers in our church, but I can see a difference in them having it daily through grandpa, uncle Brandon, cousin Tom, etc. Why papaw even showed them how to shave this week. Ethan thinks he's something else now! I already call him "the man of the house" and that makes him feel really special. But being "let in" on such a manly ritual and rite of passage...now he's feeling very grown up. He has a Transformers shaving kit and couldn't wait to show me how he shaves when I bathed him. So cute. So precious. And he's growing up so fast. I don't want to miss a moment.

But I keep trying to remind them as I tuck them in, pray over them, and bless them - Jesus is really all they need. Not mommy, grandpa and grandma, cousins - just Jesus. I remind them to tell Him everything...how they feel, what they are thinking about, even questions they have or jokes they want to share. This is the same lesson mommy is having to learn, too. I never intended for my boys to learn so early that life is cruel and unfair - because of sin and the nature of man's heart, but here we are learning it way before I felt they were ready. And not through a stranger, but through someone they love. But it certainly is a great way to illustrate that man will always fail - but God never will. NEVER.

New Year's is coming up. New beginnings. New adventures. New changes. I wonder where our journey will take us in 2008? I am confident that as long as I hold to the hand of God, and follow His steps, that it will be OK. Safe? Happy? Perfect? Probably not. But that's the adventure. It will be exciting, risky, joyous and perfecting. For me and the boys. As for me and my household...we will serve the Lord-and EXPECT the wonder that can only come from a life abandoned and submitted to Christ. As I heard in a recent sermon- Christians were never meant to be ordinary, "normal", status-quo kind of people. We are BARBARIANS. We go against the flow. We buck the system. We are risk-takers. We seem foolish to the world. Reckless Abandon to the One who gives Reckless Mercy. As I journey, I'm noticing that the path isn't getting easier, but it IS getting clearer. Everyday, every moment there is a choice to be made. Death or life? Rebellion or obedience? Curses or blessing? And though the world tries it's best to make the choices seem gray and muddled, the closer I draw to Him, the more distinct the choices are.

This year, when the clock strikes midnight, I will kiss TWO "men" and spend the evening in the arms of the lover of my soul. Because I have a choice - I choose life. I choose hope. I choose Christ.