Thursday, December 13, 2007

I'm behind

with regards to pictures and updates regarding the kids and such. I will try to catch up in the next few days. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to helping Ethan build a gingerbread house tomorrow in school! A first for BOTH of us! Grandma and Grandpa Funderburk will be there, too. We are going to have a blast.

You know, having less time with my children sure makes me appreciate the time I do get and makes me think more creative about making it special, and not just popping in a video or something. I realize how much I took for granted being with them all day. I still believe that is the ideal - for kids to be in the presence of a Godly parent MOST of the time, but there is grace to cover my kids. I will not squander any more time with them. Nor will I worry. I am learning to let God be God, and to stop trying to be God for them. After all HE is all they need... and some people and some situations are simply not worth fretting over.

You know, there was a freedom in being childless that I vaguely remember. And single parenthood is even less "freedom" as you are picking up the slack for the other, irresponsible party who does not value the inherit human obligations that come with parenthood and family life. But...to miss out on the smiles, hugs, laughs, horseplay, jokes, silliness, learning moments, discussions of life and faith... I may not be as "free" as I was, but I certainly am living much more than I was. To know that you and you alone can kiss the boo-boo all better, can cuddle the scaries away, can soothe a troubled heart or sick body. To know you helped to give life and have a part in sustaining it. To mold and shape a life and be molded and shaped yourself as well. To know you are the most important person to someone else. To share life, love, dreams, hopes and the future. To live with purpose, destiny, peace, joy....

and NO REGRETS.

THAT is real freedom.

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