Something I've been pondering...

The subtlety of sin. As a child, you like to believe the world is a black and white place. The boundaries are clear. There are good guys, and bad guys. There is right and there is wrong and you will know it when you see it.

But why, then, would people ever choose wrong? Why would people choose things that will hurt them, or others, on purpose?

Even in my life I'm learning that sin is very subtle and gradual. Some days I'll find myself somewhere I never intended to be - in attitude, in my thoughts, or even physically in a place I have no business being - and wonder "how did I get here?" I can trace back the path through a series of small compromises here and there. Ever so "innocent" decisions made one small step at a time until I find myself one giant leap off the path I should be on. Oswald Chambers said this: “...the penalty of sin is that gradually you get used to it and do not know it is sin.” Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, 3/16. That pretty much sums it up.

The Word says the penalty of sin is death. Most of us think of death as a sudden onset. One minute we are alive, then tragically we are not. This is not the kind of death that sin leads to. This is the terminal illness sort of death. The slow fade. This is spiritual hospice - you enter in to die. Not for treatment, not for healing, just to be comfortable until the inevitable happens.

I no longer expect to feel some sudden, deep conviction for my sin. I am past that point. That kind of conviction is not for those who have been in an intimate relationship with their savior for years. The longer you are a soldier, the more cunning your enemy has to become to get you. You know how to look for land mines. You can spot sabotage and ambush from miles away. He has to resort to espionage. No, I must be ever so diligent to pay close attention to the details of my heart.

A new gardener may just look at their soil, say "ah, that's nice and black. Must be fertile" and get to planting. Someone who's been around a garden for a while may realize that color is not the only indicator of fertility and actually have samples chemically analyzed to know where there is weakness in the soil. That is me. I must keep my heart under the microscope, in the chemistry lab. It reminds me of that Sunday School song: "be careful little eyes what you see, ears what you hear, feet where you walk..." The world is ever pervasive and so very seductive. I am not of this world. I must remember that.

“For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; ... But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.” Matt 13:15-16. Jesus, do a soil examination of my heart. Bring me back to a place of innocence - make my eyes to see and my ears to hear. Remove that which has dulled me, desensitized me. For you, if anyone, are able to keep me from stumbling.

To you be the honor and glory forever, my king.