It may seem funny to you, but this day is harder for me than Mother's Day is. I am a mother whether married or not. My boys have their mother whether married or not. But the "Father" thing haunts me. This day I am reminded of where I lack. I can do a lot for my boys. I can pick up a lot of the slack - not easy, but I can do it. However, no matter how much I try, I cannot impart masculinity to them. No woman can. No female can guide them into what it means to be a man. Only men can do that.
The statistics are frightening...If I relied solely on statistics. Boys without fathers suffer all sorts of social ills...if I relied on society to raise my boys. You know what I am finding? It is much harder to believe and trust God for your children than it is for yourself. If God doesn't come through the way I think He should for me, well, I can tell myself that perhaps I was seeking the wrong thing and know that even though I may not like it, God's plan is bigger and better. But I don't want my boys to suffer. I don't want them to hurt.
Now you can sit there reading this and tell me all the things that you and I both already know...suffering produces character. Hurt is necessary and inevitable. Pain has a purpose. Yes. Yes. Yes. I know this. Doesn't mean I wish it for myself or my kids. Doesn't mean I won't try to avoid it at all costs. Doesn't mean I would choose to seek it out and run headlong into it.
All I know is that my boys are having to learn a lesson at a tender age that I did not have to learn until I was an adult... man is horribly flawed and will disappoint you. Man is selfish. Man does not know how to truly love. (and don't take it wrong...I'm not just referring to the male gender for females are part of "man") Maybe they will be better off learning it early, because for me, it was a devastating lesson that cut deep. I trusted. Too much. And I will bear the scars of that for quite a while - if not forever. Perhaps my children will develop the ability to get over it quicker because they will have learned to not set their expectations so high.
All I can do is surround them with as many different examples of good, Godly men as I can. Encourage their masculine relationships. Seek out mentors for them. Give them room to be "men". Praise the good characteristics, instruct with the not so good ones. And ultimately, keep leading them back to their Heavenly Father. Being one parent is a heavy responsibility. Trying to be two is impossible. My heart breaks at my insufficiency.
Dear God, shelter and shield. Guide and direct. Mold and instruct. Please be their father. And help me to let you be.
So to all of you Father's out there... I honor you this day. May you bless and be blessed. I don't envy you your responsibility, for I have small tastes of it here and there. Know you are loved and appreciated and admired. We don't expect perfection...stumbling is not failure. Quitting is. Giving up is. So thank you for your hard work, for your sacrifice and most of all....for keeping your promises. Thank you for refusing to abandon those who are following you. Your word and leadership means more to us than how much you make or what position you hold at work or church or how competitive you are or how many answers you know. Knowing you will be there no matter what makes this place a little less scary.
Happy Father's Day!
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