The Power of the Blood and the Word of My Testimony

I realized that some of you were left in the dark regarding my car stuff back around the holidays. Now that my blog is "private", I think I can talk more freely and openly without fear of providing ammo to the enemy. Forgive me if you already know this stuff, as I'm sure some of the info trickled out here and there over the months, but I just have to make sure I have it documented for my own remembrance, and for the Glory of God.

Back in Nov., my "check engine" light started coming on repeatedly. For those of you who know me, car issues have been the thorn in my side since I started driving. This is one reason I bought a Honda - to no longer have car issues. And it was during a lot of the really icky stuff with Rob, the finances were tight, etc. Just bad timing all the way around. I took it in for a diagnostic and was told it was the ERG valve. Estimated cost: a few hundred. I made a CONSCIOUS effort and decision to NOT PANIC. I figured if God really had me in his hand like I'd been told and was being reminded of constantly, then he'd work this out somehow. The garage made a couple of calls for me and found a technical service bulletin on this very problem. Covered until 80K miles or 8 years. Meaning, if I took the car to a Honda dealer, it would be covered for free. Yippee! Praise the Lord!

I have the car back for about a week and the light comes on again. At the same time, I feel the transmission slip. My heart sinks. I don't know a lot about cars, but I know enough to know that tranny problems = is your car even worth the $$$$$????? I take her into Honda to get the news. Yep, transmission will need to be REPLACED ($3000 est.) AND my catalytic converter has gone out (did you know they were made out of PLATINUM - $2000 est.). Again - a very difficult decision was made to not panic and you will never believe it...BOTH of these problems also had a technical service bulletin out. Covered until 80K or 8 years. Guess how old my car was? 7 years. Guess how many miles? 76K. The mechanic even commented that they usually didn't see the problem with the catalytic converter until closer to 100K miles, so this was unusual. I smiled inside and said "nope - it's God making sure that, like the children of Israel wandering in the desert, my clothes and shoes (and car) lasts longer than normal - on someone elses dime.

So after all that, I ended up with over $5000 in FREE car repairs - they didn't even charge me full price for a rental car. I think I paid a total of $60 bucks when I had a rental for well over a week put together. Isn't God amazing?

Now, couple that with an abundance of blessings to me and my kids for Christmas - from people who knew us and people who didn't, God working it out for me to have $8000 more in salary than I expected, my bills somehow being paid on time even before I had work, my money even now being stretched to it's limits with health care, full time child care, AND legal costs...yet I'm still not behind on any payments or bills, my Eagle, God sending a man to flirt at me on the highway when I needed it (Yes, I do believe that was God even as silly as that sounds), God revealing things Rob is doing that could be a problem, and orchestrating some of the little legal stuff in my favor so far, and a myriad of other smaller but no less significant "coincidences" (wink, wink) like cards in the mail when I needed them, anonymous gift cards or cash, etc., and the tapestry seems to be getting richer and richer with vibrant color. Even today at church - I was complimented out of the blue on my appearance, countenance, and singing by no less than 3 people, given a hug randomly by one of the teens at church, and invited to go out shopping with one friend, and karaoke with another. Why? Because this has been a particularly lonely week for me and I've struggled with feeling left out, lack of purpose, being unattractive, etc. AND GOD CARES. Years ago, I would have taken the stance of "buck up - you aren't the only one with problems and God has a lot more important things to do than deal with your pity party and victim mentality". But you know what? I'm learning God has NOTHING more important to do than me. That is not arrogance or pride talking. That is a saint who is just starting to grasp how deep, high, wide, and long is the love of Christ and just starting to KNOW that love that surpasses understanding. I know I can't dwell in pity - I don't want to. But I also know he understands when I'm there and isn't standing on the side saying "pull yourself together". No, he's getting down in the mud with me, hugging me, crying with me and saying "I understand...now let me help you out of this."

I don't know why He has chosen to allow me a glimpse into the betrayal and abandonment he must have felt coming into this Holy week. As I reflect on today, Palm Sunday, I realize the very people who were triumphantly heralding him into the city are the very same ones who by Friday will be screaming "give us Barabbas and crucify Him!". Think about that. A friend wrote to me in an e-mail recently...they asked for a known murderer and thief to be released back among them, and demanded that mercy, grace and love be put to death. The man who had healed many of them without asking for a thing in return. The man who had forgiven sins and shown them a more excellent way. The man who had loved the unlovable and reached out to those who were outcasts. Instead, they preferred the man who had killed, stolen from, and generally mistreated his fellow man.

What is wrong with the human heart that it can choose like that? That it can turn so drastically so quickly - from praise to persecute in less than a week? "The human heart is deceitful above all things...who can know it?"